Let’s think about this quote ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼 for a minute. Let’s let it fester and linger and then come back to it, because it is the important ingredient to finding the right home.
The other word to talk about today is “grit.” Although I think that it’s used too frequently in the academic sense, it is certainly appropriate for adults just trying to make it through the day…just trying to “adult.” The American Heritage Dictionary defines “grit” as:
Grit: (informal) indomitable spirit; pluck.The American Heritage Dictionary
I love this image because it is so true…it is so important for buyers today to have…pluck; to have an indomitable will. The ability to allow oneself to be vulnerable to say, “Yes, this is the house that I want. Please accept me to be the next owner.” That’s an extremely big deal. That’s really putting yourself out there. When we bought this past summer, we had to write 3 separate offers before the seller was finally willing to work with us. We were slowly brought up to where the seller wanted it inch-by-inch until they signed. Without a certain amount of pluck, we wouldn’t have had the gumption to continue to write multiple offers on the same house; at the end of the day, we knew what we wanted and this home was it. (We actually broke the cardinal rule of real estate which is “don’t fall inlove with a home until you’ve closed escrow.”)
My wife’s indomitable spirit is what compelled us to continue to work hard and solve problems that came our way. Without that perseverance…that…grit…I know that there were times I would have thrown up my hands been like, “f*ck it.” (Let’s not talk about the actual move, ok?)
And yet, grit doesn’t come from out of nowhere. Buying a home in any market is difficult and buying a home in this market can feel just brutal. So, where does this grit come from? There has to be hope, somewhere. Without hope, what’s the point. I’ve watched several potential clients give up hope over the past few years (pre-pandemic, even) because they didn’t think that they’d be able to get to the point where they could buy a home. Some clients have left the area completely. The home prices are staggering, no question about it.
But you have to have hope…to have faith…even when reason tells you not to (with apologies to Miracle on 34th Street).
And here’s where we come full circle. In order to come up with the hope/optimism necessary for the grit to engage in the crazy buying process that we are currently in, you need gratitude. Because, as Michael J. Fox kindly reminds us, “…gratitude makes optimism sustainable.”
We must be grateful. Maybe not all of the time. It’s not possible all of the time. Relentless, sustained gratitude in the face of real issues leads to what psychologists call, “toxic positivity.” If things suck, things suck. Let’s call that spade a spade. At the same time, keep things in perspective. This doesn’t mean beat yourself up because you’re having a pity-party. Take some time, feel sorry for yourself. It’s important and it’s ok. But when that specific party is over, it’s time to take stock and see what you do have. Don’t necessarily assume that what you have is bad and that what you want is good. Everything isn’t always as it seems. But you should be grateful for what you do have. And then you should think about what it is that you do have. Studies say that you should have a gratitude journal and write it all down. So will most life/work/sports coaches. I think that it is enough just to take a few quiet moments out of your day and just feel it. Let yourself become immersed in it.
It may not happen the first couple of times, but eventually you will begin to feel better about your day. With the right frame of mind, you will do better on your house hunting journey. You will be better able to deal with the ups and downs of the hunt; you will become more resilient and – ultimately – you will have a better experience.